This Little Light of Mine: Learning to Love Myself in an Unaccepting World

I have led what I consider to be a very unique life. I have seen ghosts and communicated with the spirit world since age three. My Spirit Guides introduced themselves to me at ages eight, eighteen, and twenty-eight, respectively. I have astral projected for several years. I am an empath, a psychic, and a practitioner of magick. I am also a coward, hiding behind three university degrees and an American flag perched on my front door. I have lived a life in secret, constantly putting on different personalities and facades so as not to be “found out”. I have lived a life full of fear.

 

But not today. Today I will stand up for myself. Today I am coming forward, using my real name, embracing my authentic self, knowing that many will turn their backs on me. I have known rejection and today I am ready to accept the rejection of others because it is time to accept myself and all my quirkiness and uniqueness. I have to love myself because my light shines so brightly there is nothing I can do to keep it dimmed any longer. My name is Amy L Beaver. Many of you know me as Amy PeaceLove. My purpose in life is to love, to help, and to guide. I have been given gifts that will benefit others. I am kind, I am compassionate, and I am important. I am here today as a testament, so that others like me will know that they are not alone. I am here today to love myself, because I am worth it.

 

Much of my life on this planet has been rife with internal struggle. I have felt like I needed to prove myself to other people. I have gone to great lengths to be a social chameleon and to “fit in”. All I ever wanted was to be “normal”. In doing so, I found myself ravaged by anxiety and depression, and in 2002, I had withered away to 90 pounds. I allowed others’ perceptions of me to cause so much self-hatred, I was self-destructing. Anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, and depression were devouring me, and my soul was crying out to be accepted—not by society, not by my friends, not by my family—my soul was crying out to me. My life was screaming for me to live it, and I couldn’t hear it over the outside noises yelling, “You devil worshipper!”, “You liberal scumbag!”, “You heretic!”, “You weirdo!”. I allowed them all to dictate my unworthiness, and in doing so, I became unworthy. The most tragic part of all of this is that I became useless to others, and my life purpose disintegrated. In my quest to be accepted by all, I was helpful to none. I had not only done a great disservice to myself, I had failed everyone around me. In the throes of my despair, I locked myself in a garage, turned on my car, and let go. I wanted to be dead rather than to be different. But the Universe had other plans for me. I am grateful every day for that.

 

I want to let you know that you are not alone in this journey. If you have a light and you are hiding it, release it and let it shine so brightly it emanates beyond everything and everyone. You are important and you are necessary. If your soul is guiding you to be The Thing You Most Desire, then point your needle toward that direction and don’t let anyone keep you from it. If you’ve been given the gift of being different, who are you not to honor your life? Who are you not to be happy and fulfilled? Your story is important. Get out there and tell it. You were placed on this earth to make a difference. You have a purpose and until you embrace it and live it you’ll never find happiness. If you find you’ve got not one friend or family member left, then find me. I have been there, and I will be there for you until you can be there for yourself. This is the journey of us all. Let’s find our tribes and accept ourselves. Let’s relish this beautiful life. Let’s live in this moment and soak up all of its delicious richness and abundance on this earthly realm. Once you love yourself you will find relief. Once you open yourself up to all the worthiness and care you deserve, you will find peace. You have a past that has given you a story of strength and honor, so who are you not to be triumphant about who you are? Love yourself. Do it today. Your life depends on it.

200138528-001

Advertisements

Comments are welcome! Spam is not. Please do not place your Spam in my comments section. Thanks and Blessings!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s